My Life Changing Year – Day 3

16 Jul

Today I needed to send out a letter to the military, advising them how to solve our (many) problems. I’m attaching it, below:


To: Whomever it may Concern

From: Res. First Sergeant Itai Rosenbaum

Re: Tactical Rethinking

Dear Sir or Madam*,

I have been thinking about the Israeli military problem and I believe I have a solution.It first came to me while reading some recent issues of X-Men. I think there are several striking similarities between the people of Israel and the X-Men. Both are a minority surrounded by enemies who hate them, and both are waiting around for a messiah to show up (of course, in the X-Men’s case – the messiah is an 18 year old named Hope who may or may not be a resurrected Jean Gray and escaped to the year 3000 A.D., but that’s beside the point).

Anyways, in order to deal with the problem of people who are intolerant to his people – Cyclops, leader of the X-Men moves to San Francisco, where people are known to be tolerant. That doesn’t work so he resurfaces Asteroid M, and founds a mutant nation floating in the middle of the ocean. We should totally do that.

There is no need to find an old mutant citadel lying at the bottom of the ocean, we could just saw off our country and with a single push – set the entire country adrift. Like Cyclops, we could ally ourselves with the Atlanteans, and become the first drifting-island nation in the world. I think it would absolutely work and solve all our problems. Aside from the obvious military solution – we won’t have a water problem anymore – we’ll be surrounded by it!

I hope you take this into consideration next time you have a talk about these things.

Itai Rosenbaum,

Concerned citizen.

* Let’s be honest, this is the Israeli Military we’re talking about – there is no way they’d let a woman be in a high enough position to make this kind of call…


Tomorrow: Middle Finger Day

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My Life Changing Year – Day 2

15 Jul

Today’s assignment was to stare at everyone like they’re my one true love. So I figured, there is only one, sure-fire way for me to stare at everyone and reach the broadest amount of people…

It's YOU!

Tomorrow: Advise Your Military Day

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My Life Changing Year – Day 1

14 Jul

Here we go. Day 1 of the new, (hopefully) year-long project. Before I get to the actual day’s task, I’d like to set out some rules for myself, so that I have them in writing and can’t back down from them later on.

  • I will post about each and every day, even if a day’s post will only be a couple words or a 3-page rant.
  • I may miss days (real life being what it is), but will never skip days. This means the project may take more than a year to finish.
  • I will do my absolute best to actually complete the task given for a day, however – skimming through the book some tasks are unachievable for a variety of reasons (monetary, humanitarian, legal, psychological, etc.). In the event that I cannot complete a day’s task, I will use the task as a creative writing prompt and pretend I did it. You won’t know which are which though (aside from the ones which will have proof, of course).

I believe these are everything. So, let’s move on to day 1. I decided to celebrate the first day by going all out and preparing a video of the task being preformed. So, without further ado:

Hope you enjoyed it.

Tomorrow: Love of Your Life Day

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My Life Changing Year: Prologue

13 Jul

About a month back, it was my birthday. I received several gifts, most of them in book form (for the life of me, I can’t figure out why). One of the books I received is this one:

This book provides you with one taks per day, for a year. Some tasks are simple, some difficult. Some tasks are serious, while some are hilarious. Achieving all of them, the book claims, will change your life.

I have taken it upon myself to preform these tasks. And, as an added bonus (and incentive to do some more writing (which I never do enough of)) I will blog about each day, right here.

So, starting tomorrow (or rather, later on today), be prepared for a year-long journey that will (hopefully) change my life, and yours.

I’m dedicating this project to Ahuva Goldstand, who got me the book and will no doubt cheer me on from the sidelines.

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Live Together, Die Together

25 May

Before I get to the meat of this review/analysis/rant/what have you, I need a moment to explain something which impacts my own, personal view of the series.

It is my own belief that when all is said and done, and you lie on your death bed ready to vacate this world and proceed to whatever it is you may believe happens after, what really counts is the connections you’ve made. Not how much money was in your bank account when you died, not how much your favorite team finished in that game and not what percentage of the world you’ve seen. No, what matters is the human connections you’ve made in your life, your friends and your enemies. Those are things I believe you take with you.

Having said that, I think it becomes immediately clear why I fall on the “loved it” camp of the great Lost debate, as the finale really had a similar message.

Those who hated the finale, or a vast majority of them, seem to be crying out for the lack of concrete answers to some of the show’s biggest mysteries. What was the light? Who built the statue? How does Eloise Hawking know everything?
Yes, the show never answered these questions, and you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’d like to explain why.

First, the technical side. The show had a set amount of time to tell its final episode. Granted, that set amount was longer than any other television episode I’ve ever seen and can fall well into the category of “movie”. However, the point remains that it was set. In order for there to have been a full, absolute and complete resolution the show had to address many, many things that can be neatly categorized into two elements: plot and character. Plot includes all those afore-mentioned questions and explanations whereas character deals with closure for the group of people who’s tale we’ve been following. I don’t believe they could have gotten both of those the ending they deserved in two hours, attempting to do so would have caused a compromise which hurt both resolutions. So one had to be chosen.

So why not close up the plot? Quite simply, Lost has always been, from its first moments, a show about human drama. It was about character, about people. There wasn’t a button that had to be pushed every 108 minutes, it was Jack and Locke arguing whether or not the button should be pushed. That’s why it worked, from the beginning – because you cared about the people. Heroes is the perfect example of a show which quite quickly did away with character for plot purposes. I stopped watching on the third season simply because it was getting ridiculous. The characters became cardboard cutouts, only meant to convey the necessary information to move the plot along. Battlestar Galactica is an example of a show which put character first, and that’s why it works so well – because Starbuck is made of awesome and you want to punch Gaius Baltar in the face every time he comes on screen.

Lost, as I said, is about the characters, and, at the end of the day, that’s what was important. Take a look at how many character moments were in the last episode – a good majority of it, if not the entire thing. And yet, every moment was riveting. Jack and Flocke’s interactions in particular were standout moments. The two have always shared a great chemistry, and the journey of both characters proved to be the lynch pin of the entire show.

Which, of course, brings me to the “alternate universe”. Here is my interpretation of what the flash-sideways actually are. They are a construct, created out of the collective consciences of the key Losties, This construct is a sort of way-station between life and the afterlife – I don’t like “purgatory”, because it has negative connotations, and “limbo” doesn’t imply the transitory state of the place. This construct, being outside of “normal” time and space is not bound by their rules. Which eliminates the “so those who died earlier just twiddled their thumb till Hurley died?” question so many people seem to be having a problem with. I really believe the construct began with the first scene we see taking place in it – Oceanic flight 815. Any “history” of this world is artificial and exists purely in the characters “minds” (I use quotation marks because by this point, minds are non existent – these beings have no actual corporeal form). This also explained why familiar faces kept popping up – they’re just remnants from the character’s memories. So when Claire is in a hospital and she needs a doctor to check her baby, her consciousness pulls out the image of Ethan to fill the role.

This construct exists simply because, as Jacob point-blank tells the surviving Island Losties – none of them are happy and simply refuse to let go and move on. The plethora of daddy/mommy issues and other emotional hang-ups on the show prove this. None of the characters really got a “happy ending”, as they all died or, in the case of Kate, Hurley and Sawyer, lost the most important person in their life. Their life, or what’s left of it, was without purpose, without love and each and every one of them died (or will die) with something on their mind. Throughout the episode we saw each of the characters finally letting go. For most – it was love that brought this about. Simply because love pushes you forward – it gives you purpose. Those who were not spurned by love – death seemed to be the alternative. Which makes sense, as they’re all already dead – so dying isn’t really a possibility. It also helps that those who understood through death, had significant deaths to begin with in the real world.

The exceptions, of course, are Jack and John. Once again, the central two figures in the show get the special treatment because – as Locke constantly stated and Jack refused to believe – they’re special. They’re moving on was brought about by a physical act of letting go. Locke of his guilt and self-hatred and Jack of his desire to make people better. Acknowledging Christian’s death allows him to realize that he can’t save everyone. People will die, at some point.

And while we’re nowhere near the subject and as a way of wrapping up – I’d like to mention a point about the church. I’ve read some things online decrying the church, saying that the whole thing was a big “god solves everything” stunt or a big Jesus story. To that I say – rewatch the scene with Jack and the coffin. That church is either the worst church in the history of churches, or not a church. The answer, if you didn’t figure it out, is that its not a church. The place is filled with imagery from all religions, sects and beliefs. The place is a symbol for humanity, belief, faith. It’s not a christian story just like it’s not a Buddhist story. It’s a story of human beings, struggling, suffering, but, eventually, realizing what’s truly important. It’s a people story. And that, when all is said and done, is all that matters.

The Wrong Alice

20 Mar

Through the Looking Glass? Not Quite.

I love it when a movie reviews itself.

Throughout the vast majority of its first three quarters (or possibly even longer), Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland tells you exactly what’s wrong with it. Characters constantly referr to relative unknown Mia Wasikowska as “the wrong Alice”, which is true in more ways than one.

I’ll start right off and get the hyperbole out of the way. Alice in Wonderland is my favorite book; its sequel Through the Looking Glass (which more often than not is bunched together with the original in various film/TV adaptations) is also pretty high up on my list. So, needless to say, my expectations were high. Especially considering the people involved. So when I first heard Burton and crew were not doing a direct adaptation of the novel, but rather a “several years later, Alice returns” sort of story, first pangs of disappointment started creeping through.

Honestly, I don’t get it. It’s been almost 60 years since the Disney Alice, and 11 years since the Hallmark adaptation (the last “loyal” version I can recall). Why are people obsessed with the “Alice returns” storyline? Both Tim Burton’s movie and the recent SyFy channel’s attempt have told this storyline, as well as American McGee’s video game retelling (which is getting a sequel… soonish) and the Frank Beddor’s Looking Glass Wars series of novels. While McGee’s re-imagining of the Alice universe is an exception, the other two fall short of the real deal. I can’t say I’m having problems picturing why. Lewis Carroll’s original story was published over 150 years ago, and it is still one of the most beloved children’s novels to have come out. Why constantly try and break it? Why not put the technology and money to use, recreating a faithful Alice for the 21st century?

There is another problem inherent in writing an original story set in the Alice universe. There are the Alice fanatics (such as myself) who will want all sorts of little references and hints that show that while this is a different story, this is still the Alice world we all know and love. There is also the matter of billing the movie as Alice in Wonderland and not Random Girl in a Weird-as-Shit Place. So the director (or author or whoever) is obligated to put in all these winks and nods to the original, most of which are shoe-horned in and feel forced. So in Tim Burton’s latest you have the Dodo or the talking flowers which show up just for the sake of showing up. TweedleDee and TweedleDum are also a walking, talking plot device, meant to inspire “hey cool, it’s TweedleDee and TweedleDum” thoughts, but really, their part could have been done by anyone.

The other thing relating to the original Alice and an original story in the world of Wonderland is the language. Carroll was clever, damned clever. This movie in no way recreates the witty feel of the original. Occasionally you’ll have character spouting off lines from the original, but they lack context and the delivery is lacking. Depp’s recitation of “Jabberwocky” (one of my all time favorite poems) as a creepy, ominous prophecy just doesn’t work. As well as the myriad of other times bits and pieces of the original’s dialogue make it into the film (“Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat” and the whole “Queen of Heart’s Tarts” fiasco are special offenders).

So, that is one way in which Tim Burton gets “the wrong Alice”. An original tale, however, can be good (as proven by American McGee’s rendition). However, the entire movie falls apart if your Alice is, well, wrong. Mia Wasikowska is most definitely wrong. Her acting is truly horrible, and I don’t think I spotted a single moment in the movie when she conveyed a single emotion. It’s frustrating, as most of the rest of cast are quite good, in the limited capacity they are offered. Helena Bonham Carter is fantastic as the Queen of Hearts Red Queen (honestly, what’s up with that?), Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter had a couple of great little quirks to it that made the character unique to any other portrayals I’ve seen. Additionally, unlike the latest Burton/Depp/Carter travesty – Sweeny Todd, Depp did something unique to this character. I found his Sweeny Todd to be very much a recycling of Jack Sparrow/Willy Wonka, so I was pleased that he brought something new to the Hatter.

My absolute favorite was Stephen Fry’s Cheshire Cat, who brought something truly special to the character. The cat is often overlooked in Alice, but it really is the character that ties the book together, and Alice’s guide in Wonderland the first time she visits. It’s nice to see Fry give the cat (for some reason, all the characters were given names, but I don’t think anyone really remembers them) both its wild, crazy, mischievous qualities, as well as its more caring and considerate side. All this with only the use of his voice. I really expected to like Alan Rickman’s caterpillar because, let’s face it, it’s the Metatron, but it really wasn’t all that special. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t particularly good, either. It was a standard “wise sage who throws out cryptic shit that turns out to have been the right answer all along” routine. And by-gods if I have to sit through the “caterpillar turns into a butterfly” schtick again, I’m going to throw something at the screen. It’s getting old people, and it’s no longer clever.

Lastly, I saw the movie in 3D, despite my desire. I tried looking for a non-3D version, but there are only two places in the entire country showing the non-3D variety, and those would have been filled with little kids. I honestly don’t see any reason for this movie to be in 3D, as there was utterly nothing unique or special about it added by the 3D. There is this recent trend to stick 3D to any movie that’s coming out, and I really wish it would stop. Those glasses are uncomfortable (especially considering I already wear glasses) and it makes the ticket price higher. I don’t want to sound like a miser, but I’m on a student-budget, I can only afford to go see a movie when it’s a special movie I’ve been looking forward too, so having the ticket cost nearly twice as much, sure isn’t helping.

So, to sum things up, I was not impressed with this lates Alice in Wonderland. I liked the visual design of the movie, Burton always has that going for him, but I would have rather seen this design used for a real Alice movie, rather than some excuse to put all these characters together.

And it’s because Poe wrote on both, Hatter. Because Poe wrote on both.

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Mark Your Calendars

6 Mar

December 23rd, 2010.

This is my day. And by “my” day, I mean that I am slotted for that day on the3six5 blog.

The blog is a year-long project, from writers all around the world. Each day is post written by a different person, culminating for a year long exhibition of points of view.

I’m December 23rd. It’s a long way off, but I’m already getting psyched.

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